A+E snapshot bl3

A woman walks into the department, registers herself at reception, walks to the waiting area, and sits down. I go into the waiting room and shout her name. She gets up and walks behind me, following me to the treatment quadrangle. She takes a seat. It is 4.28 am.
"What's brought you into hospital today?"
"I can't walk"
"Hmm... but you just walked in here"
"Ugh. That's only a short distance. I can't walk a long way"
"Why? What's the matter?"
"You tell me, you're the doctor"
"Please don't waste my time, we are very busy. What do you feel wrong with your legs?"
"HUH. PAIN OF COURSE" She now speaks in capitals. Loudly. Meanwhile I am trying to suppress my irritation.
"And how long have you had this pain?"
A long loud silence ensues.
"Are you going to answer my question?"
Another silence. Only shorter.
"Well what are you going to do about it?"
"I can't do anything until I figure out what is causing it. I can't do that unless you answer my questions."
"SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"
"ANSWER MY QUESTION!"
Silence.
I am now secretly praying for a divine sledgehammer to come crashing down on her. See I told you God doesn't exist.
"If you won't answer, you may as well leave now. I have asked you a civil question. How long have you had this pain?"
"FIVE YEARS. THERE!"
"So this is not an accident or an emergency. If this pain has been going on for 5 years, you need to go and see your GP. This is an Accident and Emergency department. You do not appear to have an emergency. You can leave now."
She refuses. I inform her that security have been called to escort her off the premises.
Later I find her past A+E notes. During her last attendance she was found to be urinating in a car park in front of children...
This job gets more special everyday.